Hello! My name is Kameron and yes, I’m a transgender (female to male) guy.
I live in Oregon with my beautiful wife and daughter and we have 5 pets (3 cats and 2 dogs). Although I do plan to share this story as the introduction to episode one of the podcast coming out in April 2017, I understand some may prefer reading blogs than listening to audio podcasts.
So, here’s my story:
Deciding at age 35 to stop living my life as a female, and start living as a male was not an easy decision. Some may argue it’s not a decision at all to be transgender, but to me it was.
Let me explain.
I could have decided to live the rest of my life as a woman, and deal with that “decision.”
Instead, however, I’ve decided to no longer live a lie. I’ve decided I want to have the rest of world see me, and know me, as I truly feel I am on the inside: a man.
A man who was born with a female’s anatomy.
I made this decision to transition from female to male in September 2016.
One of the questions I’m often asked is “how did you know you were trans?”
That question is always hard for me answer because I’m not entirely sure.
I definitely know as early as maybe 4-5 years old I can recall the neighborhood boys and my brothers would run around in the summer time with no shirts on, and when I tried that my mother told me I had to put on a shirt or swimsuit because I was a girl.
I remember feeling that was unfair and I wanted to be shirtless like the boys!
There were many other things I did that were stereotypical “boys stuff” such as playing with cars in the dirt, riding BMX bikes over jumps we built, playing video games, and many sports including wrestling I was involved with.
Most people referred to me as a “tomboy.”
You know, I think deep down I just wanted to be a boy-period.
Speaking of periods, it was when I hit puberty that I was really confused!
I had to deal with what body I was given at birth. And go through puberty as a girl! UGH!
I recall changing in the bathroom stalls throughout middle school and high school because I was so shy (and uncomfortable) in my own body. I hated my breasts! (I still do in case you’re curious! Haha)
In college, when I was around 20 years old, is when I started playing on a women’s tackle football team and was exposed to gay/lesbian/queer women. Up until that point, because of my strict religious beliefs, I felt it was a sin (quote un-quote) to be gay! And if I were to even allow those thoughts or feelings to creep up I was going to hell! So I never allowed myself to consider what it would feel like to romantically love a woman….let alone be a man!
The universe has a funny way of revealing to us all what our soul wants and needs though.
On a rainy day on a football field full of women. I’ll always remember when I first allowed that thought of “maybe I like women” to creep into my head and heart. It was when a teammate (female) wrapped her arms around me and I knew she was gay.
I remember thinking, “This feels good….I think I like this feeling!”
It was while playing on that women’s team (who not all the players who lesbians by the way) that I came out of the closet as a gay woman.
Now, fast-forward 15 (almost 16) years later I’ve been living an amazing life with my wife and working a great job in Oregon. But I’ve always felt a little “off.”
A family member, my wife and I, would joke in past years leading up to my transition about me being a man because of my masculine tendencies and what not, but those were just jokes, right?
Or were they?
About a year ago I started reading online things about female to male trans men and started watching youtube videos. I thought to myself many times, “Is that me?” “Am I supposed to be a man?” The more I thought about it the more I felt like things starting adding up and making sense!
If I were a man then I could free my chest!
I can keep acting like I already do, but without the judgment of myself or others that I’m not acting “like a woman is supposed to act.”
Fuck that anyway, right?
But I realized and KNEW I’m a guy. If we’re told you can be anything you want to be….Guess what?
I want to go the rest of my life being a guy.
Being me, but as a man!
I could never imagine myself growing old as woman. That always felt wrong.
However, as an old dude wearing suspenders, a cool hat, and still crackin’ jokes with women in that weird flirty way elderly men do.
Now THAT suited me!
So in August of 2016 I said those words for the first time to myself and my wife…
“I want to be a man.”
Now the journey has started!
My wife is standing by my side (which is AMAZING!) and I started testosterone on November 10th, 2016.
I’ll share this journey on the podcast, but want to invite you to watch my
YouTube Channel as well if you’d like to follow my progress.
-Kameron
Founder & Host of Trans S.W.A.G.
